Kick Your Legs Out and Curl Them under the Plane....

That is not something any human being would do at 11,000 feet without thinking "What was I thinking?  Thanks a lot Groupon!" Those were the last thoughts I had before I jumped.

Yesterday afternoon Megan and I went skydiving for the first time. We did a tandem jump (harnessed to a professional instructor) at 11,000 feet, well Megan was 10,500 and I was 11,000 because I jumped second. Our appointment was at 5:00 which was not really a good time because we kept asking each other if we should eat before we went, or grab something after. Seeing as I didn't want to mess myself in mid air, I chose to go on this adventure with an empty stomach.

We arrived at the Waldron airport (field with rusty open aluminum hangers) where we found a group waiting out front. Megan asked if they were to go at 5 as well and they said they were the 3:30 appointment and everything was running several hours behind. Awesome, at that point all I could think about was that I was going to starve to death, not to mention the fact I had been on edge all day because, hello, I was going to jump from a plane - I was nervous as hell, to be completely honest. Regardless, the group directed us to a trailer around back and here is where the real concern set in. I don't really know what I was expecting, but I have to tell you it isn't what I saw. This trailer looked like it had been there since 1950, adorned with tarp lean-tos, broken stairs, rusty holes, outdoor grass colored carpet, and of course, a port-a-pot. Initial reaction - "Um, WTF is this." As we approach, a guy comes up to us, and says that Sam would be over to have us fill out our paperwork, watch a video, etc. He also let us know that they were running way behind schedule and they weren't going to try to rush and do something stupid - point taken. So as we are waiting for Sam, whoever he is, I am taking in the scenery. The best way I can describe the people is State Fair employees - no, not the kids working the candy stores, the guys building the rides. I didn't really know what to think, all I know was that I saw multiple people with missing teeth and the majority of their bodies covered in tatoos. I thought that maybe these people just wandered out from the bean fields and nearby woods to have a nice redneck Saturday watching the skydivers. Pass me a Marlboro, man :)

Sam, a son of one of the instructors finally made it over to us. We then went inside the pre-airconditioning era trailor to fill out some paperwork and watch a video. Did I mention that at this point in the day it was about 105 (real temp) outside. We could not keep dry, the two of us were completely drenched in sweat. Sam was 17 and had jumped 20 times solo. He was a super nice kid and entertained us for a good portion of the day (insert Megan's comment - he goes to Blue Valley North, so of course he was going to be awesome). Anyway, we watched the video, finished the paperwork, which basically said "You can very possibly die doing this, and if you do no one will sue us, ever" - comforting. we then wandered outside as some jumpers were landing. Now I was expecting to see some high-end jumping costumes, gear, helmets, whatever, but what I saw were jorts and a harness. Hmmmm, so you are telling me that the toothless bean field people are the instructors? And you don't wear any safety gear? Seriously? Ok, now I am full on concerned and scared. As they landed they detached from each other, and of course the instructor comes over to the tarp lean-to in order to fire up a smoke. They then informed us that there were 3 groups ahead of us at that point. The plane can only hold five people - the pilot (one of the instructors' wives and Sam's mother-in-law, also missing multiple teeth), two instructors, and the two jumpers. So we just had to wait, and wait, and wait. I got hotter, and hungrier, and more agitated.  The anticipation was killing me.

After some time had passed, we were sitting at a table with the lady who packs the chutes (keeping her company while she ripped a Marlboro) and Sam. All of the sudden she looks up in the air as says "What is that?!" "That's not the right chute." We look up and see a group coming down under a white chute that was supposed to be purple. She and Sam quickly get up and begin looking for something on the ground, and did I mention that they looked extremely concerned.Ok, this is not a scenario you want to have when you are about to skydive. What were they looking for, a body to hit the ground? I couldn't take it, at that point I was about to say F this, we are out of here. When the team landed, they said that they main chute didn't deploy correctly so they had to pull the reserve. Ummmm - WTF! The instructor then says "That's why we have two!" All I can think is, nice for you man, I am about to pee my pants. At that point I was seriously thinking about leaving, or rescheduling, or doing anything I could to get out of this situation, but we stayed. Over the next hour or so, I began to calm down, maybe it is because it started to cool off a bit, maybe I was in denial about what I was doing, I don't know - all I know is that I was extremely calm.

As the sun began to set, it was finally our turn to go. Ron, a 125 lb man, standing 6 feet and missing most of his teeth (think Meth) came up to me and notified me that I would be putting my life in his hands, awesome. He then asked if I was a Marine, haha (earlier in the day Sam said I was 25, and when I told him I was 31, he told Megan she must be 29 - hilarious). If you would have shown me a picture of Ron and said that one day you will be jumping from a plane with this guy I would have told you that you were crazy. Turns out that Ron was actually a pretty funny and likable guy. Megan is going to jump with Sam's dad who has jumped almost 7,000 times; Ron was at about 5,000. At least these guys knew what they were doing. So we harnessed up, and got on the plane. Let's talk about the plane - duct tape (inside only), no seats, open windows - lets just say it wasn't first class. It was like I was in an old war plane about to be dropped into battle. Nonetheless, we all loaded up and off we went. We climbed, and climbed, and climbed. Megan was jumping first. The pilot gave a two minute warning - we were at 10,500 feet. All of the sudden the pilot shook her finger and the door opened. Okay, I am sitting right next to this door that flew open. The wind, the sight, the overall sensation of everything scared the ever living sh*# out of me - I closed my eyes. Megan was gone. The door closed and it was my turn. we got into position. Ron just kept saying breathe and open your eyes. The door opened, I swung around, threw my legs out, and again closed my eyes. We rocked back and forth a few times and then we dropped.

As soon as we fell out of the plane I opened my eyes, I mean at this point why not, right? We were flying, literally. The sensation of falling at 106 mph is very loud, yet peaceful, and you do not feel like you are falling at all. After about 30 seconds, Ron opened up the chute. At this point we were at 6,000 feet. When the chute opened, you get jerked up very quickly, think stopping in a car very quickly. Then everything became completely silent, dead silent. At this point, since the chute is open, you know that everything is cool. The sensation of being under a parachute is unreal. I felt like I was suspended in space and time. It doesn't even feel like you are moving. There is no sensation of falling, you are just there a mile above the ground. I wish I could articulate how this felt, but the only thing I can say is complete and total freedom, just flying. The sunset views were unreal. Ron then let me control the chute. It was pretty much like driving a car. We did some spins, and a few other fun things, but really I just wanted to enjoy the view and feeling of flying. A few minutes later, we landed right where we took off.

Chillin, sweatin'

Marinatin

Getting ready for harness

Ron suiting me up (note the tarp lean-to and grass carpet!)

My buddy, Ron

Megan and Ron

Gettin ready in her fashionable harness!

The plane

Did the Wright Bros. build this?!

Last time our feet were on the ground.

I was excited! (but really the harness is unbelievably tight!)

Right before takeoff.

Me (Ted) coming in for the landing!

Safe and sound!

Wow - That was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!

Sam unhooking the harness - all done!

All in all, this is one of the most exhilarating yet indescribable experiences that I have ever had. I would recommend it to anyone, and would do it again without hesitation. It was absolutely amazing!