Vacation - Swim suit - check, flip flops - check, iPod - check, baby monitor - reality check

Next Saturday we are leaving to go on our first family vacation. It will actually be our first real vacation since we went on our honeymoon almost 5 years ago. Yep we have almost been married for five years. That in itself is crazy, where did that time go?

Anywho, we(I) have been extremely excited to get out of here and head to south Florida for 8 days of nothing to do. You may be asking, "Who the hell goes to southern Florida in August?!" Well, we do because that is just how it has worked out. I actually think that it is going to be cooler there than it is here. I am actually debating on whether or not to take my phone with me. I know that if I do I will check my work email (it's just a sick addiction people), something "urgent" will come up, and I will start firing off emails left and right to solve a problem that doesn't even really matter. But hey, that's what great technology has done for us, keeps us online ALL the time. But that is a different issue - now to the point of this post...

Megan and I were talking the other night about what we were going to be doing with all of our free time. I have several ideas of places to go and things to see since we will be going to Palm Beach, which is where my Grandmother lived. We drove down there pretty much ever summer when I was a kid. So as far as excursions, daytrips, whatever you want to call them, we are set. That said, we are staying at a beautiful oceanfront resort villa (courtesy of my mom and dad - Thanks!). It has everything you could ever want and need. I mean our room(s) has a full kitchen, balcony(s), and washer and dryer - why would you want to leave. This is where the reality check hit me...I made the comment "We need to bring the baby monitor so that when Grace is napping we can go down to the pool and hang out." {Gates of Hell - Open}

I mean in my (apparently pea sized) mind there was absolutely nothing wrong with this. Put her to sleep, throw the Do Not Disturb on the door and go to the pool, beach, wherever as long as the monitor functions. As I finished that sentence Megan looks at me with this horrified look and says "Don't be a fuc&$^ing idiot!" Surprised by this comment (because I really didn't see the issue) I said "What?" "What's wrong with doing that?" I really thought she was kidding. Then as I begin to get lectured on everything under the sun about being responsible, I began to realize, that she was not kidding and was in fact, dead serious. And now we have silence at the dinner table - awesome.

Within a matter of 2 minutes, the vacation I have been looking forward to for months turned into nothing more than another everyday chore. So playing stupid, I respond "So, we have to sit in the room when Grace naps, and when she goes to bed at 7:30 we have to be in the room for the rest of the night? What the hell kind of vacation is that?!!!!!!!!" "I mean seriously, why are we even going, we may as well just be at home. Hey look out the window, a beach - but we can't go cause GRACE IS NAPPING?!???!?!?!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Still confident that my idea is not that stupid and irresponsible, I texted my sister who has 3 kids and asked her the question. Her response "Do you want to be the next Casey Anthony?!?!" WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Am I this stupid? I would never put Grace in harms way, ever, but I really did not see the problem with this. So, I keep digging my hole because that's what I do. I proceed to tell Megan that if she didn't incessantly watch tv shows about kidnapping, rape, murder, {insert horrible human scenario}, then she would not be so afraid all of the time. After some more back and forth, I was told that I had ruined the vacation that hadn't even started.

That's when it hit me. I will be the dude getting on the airplane with a carseat, pack n play, 19 suitcases, blow up toys, a stressed out wife and a crying baby. We will have to deal with the nap times and bed times just like we do at home. And I will be coming home with a farmers tan, because I doubt there will be much time on the beach that does not involve Sunblock 10,000SPF, umbrellas, etc. We will fit fun {new definition - leaving beachfront prison} in where we can, and deal with the rest of it as it comes. Thank god I have a wife who knows the right thing to do, and is the best mother anyone could ever imagine.I have come to realize that a vacation is no longer about getting drunk on the beach during the day and going to clubs at night. It is about spending time with your family, away from work and everyday life. I guess I should just be thankful that I have a job and an everyday life that I need time away from, and a family to spend it with - regardless of the location.